Trying to have fun

So, we are trying to plan a fun Independence day weekend. We are making plans to go sit by the pool. We did get the PDD-nos diagnosis last week for our youngest son. He also has ADHD. He is a tough one to deal with sometimes. I love him with all my heart, don't get me wrong, and I would never want to change who he is. I would like him to be able to think about what he is going to say and how it will affect others around him. He has never been able to do that and feelings have been hurt on many occasions. So, last night we went to my mother in laws house. They have a pool out back, they actually have a gorgeous house and backyard. Now, her husband, the kids call him Pop, has taught every grandchild to swim, my oldest son included. My youngest son cannot swim yet. I was unable to swim yesterday for reasons I shall not mention, and my husband was having horrible back problems, so he could not swim either. My youngest son said he would like to be a grown-up already so he could swim. I told him Pop would be happy to teach him. His answer was "Whatever".....GRRRR. So, I change him to his bathing suit. While we are changing him he is combative and argumentative. I remind him that this is the perfect time, as we are not out there often, and he could learn to swim on his own and not have to hang on mommy and daddy in the pool. Well, he still is unable to swim at all this morning.

So, we will go to the pool today and he will spend his time in the shallow end walking around. He will get upset because we do not stay by his side the entire time, and he will get upset because he cannot swim. When I offer to help teach him he will decline. With the PDD-nos it seems, if he cannot perform an action with perfection right off the bat he does not want to try. This has been a source of frustration for all of us, and I know it is exceptionally frustrating for him. But, we do not know how to help him through this. It is like his thought process cannot run a full course. He cannot see the outcome of learning to master a task, he can only see that he cannot do the task and will be a failure. Since he already has stigma and feels that he is made fun of for the smallest of things, he will not even try to save himself the embarrasment.

We will be getting with the doctor for the best plan for the ADHD, the school and my nephews, who are watching both kids for the summer, will be thankful I am sure. We will also be checking into the outpatient therapy, the occupational therapy in school, and therapeutic horseback riding. We had never heard of this, but after talking with a few people it seems this could really help him. Luckily we live in Texas and it seems these places are all over here. There is one near Weatherford that my in-laws know about.

We have explained to my oldest son about his brother, but he is 9, so while he understands he is different it does not make dealing with him any easier most of the time. We try to make sure our time with each is evenly distributed, but between my oldest son's baseball schedule and my youngest needs, my husband and I feel torn at times because we end up with no time for ourselves. More on our adventures later.